Reflections of a third-time Basher

One thing I have discovered is that after your first bash it is very difficult to express in words what the bash is and what your experience was. So, after a mere three bashes I am going to give it a crack!

Once you have signed up to your first bash you throw yourself into fundraising and getting the car ready. The reality is that you have no idea what you in for, naturally.  You join the Variety Qld pages and if you’re brave enough, you might ask some questions to get your head around what may or may not happen on the bash.  One of the reasons I think people enjoy the bash, is because even after many bashes you should expect the unexpected.

This is such a special time, as everyone has their individual reasons for doing the bash.  These reasons motivate you to spend hours flipping sausages, planning and running fundraisers and lots of time in the shed with the car.  Often one part of the team doing the fundraising and costumes etc while the other works on the mechanical side.  

This period is filled with anticipation and excitement, as the date draws near.  All the indications on Creek to Coast and bash YouTube videos give you an inkling that you are either going to have the time of your life or have made a rather large mistake as you have inadvertently joined a huge circus.   However, all you do know, either way, is that you are doin’ it for the kids. This quote will be used over and over and will become your mid-life crisis mantra.  Well, it did become mine as I tried to explain to my friends and family why? Why did I, the day after I cartwheeled down 14 stairs (and did not even break a bone) say to my husband with a deadpan face that I wanted to sign up to do the bash. Actually that story is a blog in itself! In the end life is short, and we signed up, cause we are doin’ it for the kids.

Everyone is drawn to the bash in different ways and have such different backgrounds and connections and their stories are ones I want to tell someday if I get the opportunity. Sometimes when I am on the bash, I look around and I think to myself what a Motely Crew!  How on earth did this group of people come together to raise funds for Variety?  At one point I thought I had joined a cult, because people I had never met, had nothing in common with and might not otherwise socialise with, were talking to me as we queue for a meal, joining me on the side of the road at breakdowns, or sharing a drink.  We laughed together and cried together and the support for one another is not one I have ever experienced outside of my family and very close friends.  This is what we refer to as the Bash Family. Yet again this is another concept which is difficult to explain to someone who has not been on a bash before. The Bash family supports one another without question. It is a camaraderie that I can only imagine exists in places like the Army, where a group of people all share the same goal and ours is because we are doin’ it for the kids.

So as prepared as you think you might be, nothing can get you ready for this unique hell of a 10-day ride with 300 strangers. We packed every conceivable thing we may need from gastro stop to pineapple lumps, never conceiving that one of these might cause the need of the other. Some things we found unnecessary and others we never even considered.

I guess that is part of the adventure, sometimes needing something in outback Queensland and you are nowhere near a shop that stocks the said item and yet a couple of comments to your neighbours at your campground and wallah you now have much needed item. This does extend to the sometimes-crazy event where a vehicle blows up an engine and next minute the bash crew are pulling an engine out of the mud in a farmer’s paddock to install that night into the bash car. True story, and that isn’t even the craziest I have heard!

The pre-dinner event is somewhat deafening.  These people hugging, laughing and sharing conversations are akin to people at reunion.  It is like they have known each other their entire lives and are catching up on years of yarns and beers.  But in most cases these bashers have seen each other several times throughout the year attending each other’s fundraising events, but if not, only a year has passed. The noise however might make you believe otherwise. 

The start line when the weather is good, is a colourful sea of smiles, costumes and cars.  The air is filled with the anticipation that has been 12 months or in some cases longer in the making. The cars presented with their flags proudly displayed and their horns and music blaring… more noise just 12 hours after the last hullabaloo at the welcome dinner.  What a sight it is for the local community.  Each person in each, car, bus, 4wd and limo is excited about the adventure that awaits them, some of it is routine, the rest is very much not in the script.

After the inaugural bacon and egg roll, we were finally off!  I get handed the run sheet. Shit, I had no idea what I was looking at.  There were trip meter numbers and instructions in what looked like a code TR (Turn Right) and FWM (broken windmill), so straight off our very first start line in Winton we went past the first turn! I had no idea how to undo the metres on the trip so we immediately broke Rule # 1 – Never follow the car in front of you. We did a u-bolt and latched on to the nearest car that looked like they had a clue where they were going and stuck to them like glue while I scrambled for the legend to work out what the acronyms stood for.  This was the first of many navigating trails along the way. 

As I have since discovered there are great navigators and then there are ones that sit in the passenger seat with their run sheets and pens and actually take no notice of the instructions. They look out the window admiring the scenery and start conversations about black holes or how farmers count their sheep. It is not until they are urgently questioned by the driver. “Where the F**K am I going now”? to which is followed often by a “Shit I forgot I was supposed to be telling you where to go!”  I don’t go without fault here though.  One morning on the last bash when I felt a bit dusty from dancing up a storm the night previous, I turned to my lovely driver (aka Sticky D) and said “Ok after a shit tonne of grids and causeways you turn left at 68kms onto bitumen and promptly fell asleep.  It was not a perfect slumber as any basher knows when you don’t have air-con, your windows are often down and hitting a grid at 100 clicks makes a hell of a noise. So, I was in and out of consciousness for about 45 minutes, but surprisingly once the drool had been wiped away and a quick sip of water, I felt quite refreshed and ready to take my navigating duties seriously.

Ok we have got these run sheets down pat now and we have our first school stop of many to come on the event. These can be quite intimate with 6 odd kids right up to 150 very excited kids being overwhelmed with lollies, toys and characters in costumes ready to entertain.  Sometime the kids sing for you, make you lunch or just thank you for the Variety grant they have just received. I personally love a school stop and a lil kindy stop too for that matter.  To rock up in our Ghostbusters car and our outfits and yell out “Who ya gonna call”? to have the kids scream their reply in unison… “GHOSTBUSTERS”! And if the kids are right into it I yell “I can’t hear you” and the chant is repeated. This past bash was pretty neat with our new replica proton packs with cool lights and noises to catch the many ghouls, ghosts and slimers out there. So many kids had a turn holding the guns and pressing the buttons, they absolutely loved it and so did we.  Some of my best memories are from school stops.

One thing I LOVE on the bash are the spectacular sunrise, sunsets and ridiculously clear starry skies.  The bash is exhausting, so when you hear peoples alarms and zips going off at 5.45 you are tempted to yell obscenities from your swag.  Ultimately you know you have to rise- n- shine in order to get your swag on the baggage truck and be at breakfast by 6.30, so up you get.  It is a precious time of the day that you only really begin to appreciate once you have been for a wee!

So we now thought we knew what to expect a few days in, when we see FUNSTOP on the run sheet?  We were like what the hell are they talking about we are 100klms from any bitumen road in the bush!  Sure enough the FUNSTOP beach flag and about 100 cars came into view. It can be a bit disorienting rocking up to a fun stop, there are cars parked any which way and it can take a minute to work out what is happening and where it is happening.  One of my first FUNSTOPS we were playing golf on the side of the dirt road.  GOLF? There was not a smooth bit of ground to be found but did that deter 450 people – nah not a chance?  After a quick whack we thought we might try to exit, also, a big nope.  I was absconded my what looked like a communion wine server with coffee looking fluid in the little glasses. The biggest smile greeted me with the cheeky suggestion, “Shots”? I dared to turn my arm to view my watch at which I was chastised, “Don’t look at the time” I was told… “Cowboys” And so when in Rome or Roma… I will never forget this person and that day; they know who they are, and I just adore them for their bash spirit and sincerity.  We were a newbie team but that meant nothing to her, she just knew generosity and inclusivity. Some people are just the salt of the earth, and I swear a good portion of them are bashers.

A common theme began to emerge mid bash, broken down cars on the side of the road.  At the start of a first bash, a veteran basher once told us to “Stop at every pub, every fun stop, every broken-down car, every school, monument etc.  This is not a race or a rally, some of the best times you will have is on the side of the road.” He was not wrong. So for the most part we stop for everyone and everything we can.  Chris is often helping other cars mechanically and I am making small talk with the rest of the crew standing around waiting for their car to be on the go again.  We meet the most amazing people, and sometimes dogs and lambs too! The saying I love the most after being flooded in at a town called Bedourie for 2 days is…hurry up and wait.  Never truer words have been spoken on the bash.

So, this all sounds like organised chaos, doesn’t it?  Well, I left the best till last… the kids.  I have blubbered like a baby every bash as recipients receive their grants and their stories are told. I have said time and time again that Chris and I have 5 healthy children and 2 healthy grandchildren with relatively carefree lives.  To hear about life changing moments that affect a child, and their family forever is a sobering moment, every time.  These kids and their families blow me away with their strength and resilience. I can’t imagine a day in their house let alone a year. 

Rani was the first story that really pierced me deep. When Rani was 8 months old, she unfortunately suffered a choking incident on a piece of mango and now lives with a Hypoxic Brain Injury and severe disability. Her family couldn’t get NDIS funding for a vital piece of equipment to improve Rani’s quality of life including managing her pain and turned to Variety for help. Because of your support helping us to fundraise, 3-year-old Rani was granted a Supine Stander which promotes normal hip development, prevents long-term complications from pain and allows her to interact with her family. It will also help with Rani’s digestion, bladder function, respiratory care, circulation, skin integrity and alertness. To see her walking in the video with a walker helps you to understand the difference Variety is making every day, one family at a time. I could go on and on here, but at the end of the day the money donated to Variety, assists kids all throughout the year in various areas – grants, scholarships, activity and braille music camps and so much more. While the bash is literally the best fun I have had in my life, I have a deep sense of pride knowing that these funds are making a profound difference in the lives of kids who are sick, disadvantaged and living with disability. The Bash is a celebration and culmination of your hard work all year round to bring in these much-needed dollars.

I could write 100,000 words to try to sum up the bash, which would include the amazing bash choir, bash cash, bash entertainment and the awesome Variety support team, but in a nutshell, the bash changes you. You go in as Tammy 1.0 and come out V2.0. in a short 10 days. The number of experiences, feelings, drinks, emotions, tears, conversations, food, laughter, and moments for growth is a little beyond belief to be honest. You lose track of days, locations and people, and 10 days on the road feels like months in non-bash time.  There is no denying it, you feel different after the bash.  You are changed. Your perspective changes or is re-oriented, and you can feel a little displaced trying to settle back into your mundane day to day life.  This is called the Bash blues.  Part of you just wants to fundraise full time to make even more of a difference but few of us have that luxury. So, settle in we do begrudgingly to our jobs as we hold on tight to social media videos, and other teams’ pages of memories to keep the spark alive as long as we can. Then as your routine kicks in again and you put the last of your bash items away, we look up and forward, and start all over again for the next bash! Doin’ it for the kids, cause all kids deserve a fair go!